It took me a few weeks to be able to write this post without tears completely blurring my eyes, but oh well, they are anyway, so here we go…
After losing one of our dogs in January, my heart ached to add another dog to our family. Not to replace her, but to bring some joy back into the house after losing her. We went back and forth a lot about the decision. We went through the process of finding a breeder, picking a puppy and bringing him home. Upon getting him here, it was pretty clear that it was bad timing for numerous reasons. Ultimately, after lots of praying and thinking, he has been rehomed. If you ask my close friends and family, and especially Mr. Fancy, it wasn’t an easy decision for me. I spent weeks trying to decide what to do. I shed and am still shedding lots of tears over this. I tend to dwell on things. I worry a lot. Ultimately, it was right to let him go, but, it took time to admit it. He was only in our home, a couple weeks due to being away for vacation, which was planned prior to getting him. He was always planning on going back to the breeder to stay while we were away. That didn’t make it easier to say goodbye. It was one of the hardest decisions that we’ve had to make. I love big. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you’re one of my people or animals, I love you with all my heart. Saying goodbye was awful and I still think about it daily.
There are lots of factors that went into making our decision. I don’t feel the need to go into any of them because it’s personal, but it was the best decision for our family and that is what matters to me. He is happy and thriving and that is what we wanted for him. The breeder that we got him from was wonderful through everything and she kept telling me “God isn’t doing this for nothing, Ashley.” And HE didn’t. Lots of lessons were learned in the past month. I think maybe in a few years, when the kids are older, we will try again, or maybe we won’t. I can’t plan that at this point. I decided to share my story with you in hopes that you might relate to it. I’m sure there are going to be people who can’t, but at the end of the day, it’s like that quote says, if we all knew everything about everyone, we wouldn’t judge anyone, right? There are so many different factors that go into every decision that we make and I won’t ever feel guilty about doing the right thing for my family.
I think the biggest lesson that I have learned in this, is when you think you really want something and you get into it and then you realize it was the wrong decision for whatever reason, it’s okay to admit you made the wrong decision and move on from that. It’s not only better for you, but it’s better for everyone involved, although it may take some time to see that. You can’t let your worries about what others will think, steer your decision, because in the end, you have to do what’s right for you and your family and anyone involved. I also learned a lot about grace. Yes, we should give ourselves grace daily, but really, we need to give each other grace as well. One particular person that I dealt with through this whole situation taught me so much about grace and for that part of this, I am thankful. I look at this lesson as a big one and honestly one that I wish turned out differently, but it didn’t and at this point, all I know is that we did what was best for our family and that is what is important.
As always, thank you for your love and support. XOXO