I wanted to say thank you for all of the sweet comments and emails regarding our move. I can’t tell how much they mean to me. The prayers and all the kind words have been so sweet and I really appreciate them.
I’ve had a lot of people ask how we are all doing with the transition so far.
I decided to write it here on the bloggity blog. I’ll want to remember all of these details a few years from now, I’m certain of that.
This is definitely one of those posts that I struggle to publish because I worry that it’s too sad or too negative, but it’s real life and it’s what’s going on in my life right now. I’m certain there are some of you who will read this and probably be able to relate completely to all that we are going through.
Friday night, we were handing over our keys to our agent and I realized that I left my mini pizza stones in the oven at the house. We had to run back down and get them and everyone said goodbye (again) to the house and we all rang the doorbell on the way out. Ironic because I had a sign up, asking people not to ring the doorbell the whole time we lived there due to the dogs barking and babies napping. Leaving the stones was obviously meant to be. We all needed one last goodbye. We got one last picture on the stairs. It was bittersweet. This all is.
We left San Diego on Saturday morning. It was tough to leave. We had to say goodbye to our best friends who live(d) right down the street from us. As we hugged and cried, I said it was so crazy that we were saying goodbye there, in their front yard because that’s where it all began…in their yard. Right after we moved in, I saw my bff working in her yard and I went up and introduced myself. She might have thought I was nuts, but I just knew we were meant to be friends and we were. So were our husbands and so were our kids.
They are friends who are family.
I always say “you only get a few true friends in your life, so hold onto them for dear life.”
We’ll be friends forever, but it was awful to say goodbye. I will miss them living right down the street. I so pray that we have nice neighbors in our new hood.
We said one last goodbye to the house. It was a good one. I keep thinking of rooms and things that I will miss about that house. It’s funny because while we lived there, there were always a few things that I wanted to change and now, I am going to miss those things.
I had to say goodbye to my family at Christmas and last week and it was awful as well. I am hoping my mom and sister come for a visit soon! They better! The thing about family is, you know you will see them. That makes me feel a little better, but still I secretly wish that everyone that I love would move here too.
The way the little presidents have handled the move has been a little unexpected for me and it’s been a struggle for me.
They have been totally out of sorts. Lots of whining and crying and fighting, which I suppose is to be expected, but it is more than I expected at the same time.
Teddy has been sad off and on. But he is a pretty positive person for the most part. He’s definitely way whinier than usual, but I’m hoping that goes away soon.
He has been telling people “Well, Grace (cousin), I guess I’ll never see you again.” Such a tough concept to grasp. You move away but you can still see people that you love, after moving. The whole day yesterday, he kept saying “I just keep thinking about Sutton(his bff that we say goodbye to yesterday am).” It’s heartbreaking to watch them not understand all that’s going on. It’s hard to explain it to them. Really, I just think they are too young to grasp the concept in it’s entirety. We discussed Teddy’s new school a few nights ago and he told me that he was scared and he cried. Of course when his eyes filled with tears, mine did too. He’s never been nervous about school. He begged me for months on end, right after Reagan was born, to send him to school. I finally gave in and he walked in the first day and never looked back. So, the fact that he has been nervous was really unexpected for me. A huge blessing was a phone call from his new teacher on Friday, inviting him to come in for a few minutes on Sunday to see his classroom and meet her. It seemed to help and he is looking forward to starting this morning! Praying he has a great day!
Reagan has been a bit of a mess.
She is whining constantly and her smile and happy personality is not around as much as usual.
It breaks my heart. I hate watching either of my babies suffer or be sad. It kills me.
The most heartbreaking thing is that daily, since Thursday, she has said, numerous times a day, “I want to go home.” I’m in tears as I write this because the house we just left is all she knows as home. All, she wants is to go back there and be in the comfort of the only place that has been home to her. I feel awful about this. I didn’t expect it at all. It’s breaking my heart. This apartment doesn’t feel like home to me either. There are boxes everywhere. I am overwhelmed with all I need to do and I’m exhausted. I don’t even know where I will put our boxes and suitcases. I secretly wish someone would just come do it for me because I’m overwhelmed by it. My mom is always the best at this stuff and I’m so sad that she isn’t close enough to just drive over and help me. We don’t even have a kitchen table yet because we haven’t had time to get one and we need one. I think that will help. I can completely relate to what Reagan is saying. I feel like I want to go home too. In fact, that’s all I could think about all day Saturday and yesterday. Except I know that we have a new home to go to in a few months and that will be home now because we will be there, together, as a family.
The little presidents don’t understand the concept of building a house. They can’t comprehend that this place we are staying in is just temporary. I think it’s all super confusing for them. It’s funny (also annoying) how the timing worked out. I’m sure there is a lesson here for me. The house is behind schedule which is to expected. I’m just hoping that it’ll be ready sooner rather than later. I think this in-between is hard. It’s especially hard on the little presidents which I hate. Reagan begging “to go home” numerous times a day makes me cry each time she says it.
I am praying that all of us look back in a year and think this was the best decision that we have ever made.
Right now, is the tough time. It’s just hard.
I am positive it wouldn’t have been this hard if we were just moving to a different/new house in our (old) area. Leaving a house is hard but leaving a state is always the worst. I did it a bunch as a kid. I know how it is. It’s even harder as an adult with children because you leave behind your support system. Now I can understand how hard it was on my mom each time we moved. Family, friends, the pediatrician, the babysitter. Those people. The people who help me get through my days and the people you rely on for help with the kids. I miss them all already and we have been gone a day.
Right now, I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss our house. I miss the dogs. I miss a lot of things.
I keep trying to remember that this was clearly God’s plan for us.
I am trying to remind myself of that anytime I feel sad.
I keep repeating my favorite verse, Jeremiah 29:11 to myself, a million times a day.
Mr. Fancy keeps saying “it’s all going to be good.”
I love his positivity.
I’m sure it’s all going to be good, but right now, right now, it’s hard.
I just want Teddy and Reagan to be back to normal and to feel like this place is home…at least for the next few months.