Happy Monday, my peeps! Two posts in one day is not usually my style, but I had something on my heart that I felt I needed to share because I am willing to bet there are some of you who can relate to what I about to dish out. I want to reiterate the fact I love my children with all my heart and I am truly blessed and thankful to be their mom. I love being a mom. I wanted to discuss some of the tough stuff today. I think it’s easy to assume that lots of us who do what I do, have perfect lives, because our pictures often look perfect, but that is far from the truth and life is just as messy around these parts.
So, yesterday was Mother’s Day. I try not to let these “holidays” change my perspective or thinking, but almost every time, every year, they do. I’m reminded of Valentine’s Day. This year, we had agreed not to do gifts, yet I was still disappointed when there wasn’t a gift on the table waiting for me that morning (there were flowers). So, I spent the whole day feeling bummed and down and it was my own doing! Ridiculous, because WE BOTH agreed to not do gifts. These “hallmark holidays” can really do a number on your mind. And after I thought about it a few days later, I realized how stupid it was for me to spend the day bummed. Expectations of how a certain day “should” be, because that is what we are told.
So, fast forward to Mother’s Day. I can already feel myself feeling under appreciated on Saturday when I see Mr. Fancy and the kids go shopping that afternoon. Because, I mean, hello, it’s so last minute and it seemed like such an afterthought. Never mind the fact that he has been out of town all week and this is the first day that he has been able to even take them. Nope, that doesn’t even cross my mind at the time. Rolling my eyes at myself, you guys, don’t worry. I wake up on Mother’s Day to coffee in bed, a few thoughtful gifts from the kids, flowers and a fun balloon that the kids had picked out. Breakfast was made and served and the morning was going well and I was glad to be with my people.
Before church, all, I wanted to do was to get a picture of the 3 of us, smiling, because really, that’s not that much to ask, right? So, me wanting a picture basically set the tone for the day. Reagan was NOT having it. On a side note, five has been the toughest age yet, in my opinion. The tantrums and crying fits. Goodness! I found myself almost in tears by 10am because all I wanted was a damn picture! Don’t they know it’s MY day!? My one day to be pampered and have everyone do what I want them to, when I want them to! Expectations of how this day should be, because we are told this is our one day…
We are made to believe that this ONE day a year, we should get more appreciation. We should be pampered. We shouldn’t lift a finger. We should have one day with no tantrums, no whining, no fighting. This is the expectation. And while, I’ve had some good Mother’s Days in the past. This year was a rough one and I think partly because I expected it to be such a glorious day and it just wasn’t. It was still messy. There were still tantrums and fighting. It was like every other day, but not, because it was Mother’s Day.
Look at this picture of us. Sweet and happy. This sweet picture took numerous takes and tears were involved before even going outside to attempt a picture…I can’t even remember why she was crying or why she didn’t want to take a picture, now. But, at the time, it was stressful and frustrating and all I could think was “this is supposed to be my day.” It sounds ridiculous, but again, expectations of how this day should be and how everyone should act. We are made to believe that this one, magical day, everything will fall into place and all will be well. I think in some cases, in some families, it was this type of day and if your day was amazing, then I am thrilled for you because you deserve it!!! But, here, in my house, it was not. By the time we were headed to dinner (which involved more tears because we said no to bringing the iPads), I was spent, my husband was spent. We were both praying we could just make it through the dinner with no issues and I think both of us were wondering why we even still went to dinner. I think my husband was trying to salvage what was left of the day. He truly wanted me to feel special. And you’ll be glad to know that we did have a quick, but nice dinner. But, by 9pm, we fell into bed, exhausted from the day.
The point of why I share this is, I want you to know that my day was not perfect, even though, my picture was. My days rarely are perfect. I can’t remember the last time I had a “perfect” day…maybe never. Motherhood is wonderful and messy and amazing and tough, all at the same time. Trying to raise the best humans that we possibly can is a huge responsibility. It definitely deserves a day to celebrate us, but honestly, we are moms, so one day out of the year is not even enough if you ask me. We need to feel celebrated and appreciated all days, but lets face it, there will be more days than not that the laundry, cooking, carpooling, etc doesn’t get a celebration. I always think some day, when our kids have their own kids, they’ll realize just how much we did for them. And that’s okay. I just wanted to you know that if your Mother’s Day wasn’t picture perfect, mine wasn’t either. I’m with you.